As part of my graduate school classes this term, we have to try a new spiritual practice for four weeks. I have read, read, wondered and pondered, about what I should do for my discipline.
Do I: read, pray, journal, try making a Rule for Life, draw, watch "spiritual movies, blog, listen to music, meditate? The list can go on and on. But in reality choosing a spiritual discipline is really not the issue for me. The real issue for me is having a spiritual discipline at all!
You see for quite a while now I have had NO spiritual discipline. It seems that one of the drawbacks of working in a church is getting caught up in the busy-ness of the call. It is so easy to get absorbed in the details of the life of the church that you forget to spend time with the God you have been called to serve. This is the situation I have found myself in lately. I only spend time with God in prayer when I am called to pray as part of my job. I only read scripture now as preparation for studies I am going to lead. I find that as work to help others grow closer to Christ, I find I move farther away.
Now let me say this...MY FAITH IN GOD HAS NOT CHANGED! I still KNOW that Christ is my Savior, that my life is infinitely better with God, and I know that God never leaves my side or turns his back on me.
What has changed is the way I relate to God. And oh, how I miss spending time with me God. I miss it like I miss my family when I am away. I miss it like I miss the way my mom used to be before she became ill. I miss it like I miss the way Mark used to smile. A part of my heart and life is missing. A part of my very essence is not here right now.
So I have decided that I am going to blog as my new spiritual discipline. But I am not going to just blog...I'm going to blog about lots of different disciplines: Art, music, TV, Movies, Meditation...and of course prayer and scripture reading.
We'll see how this goes. I hope that even thought this is a class assignment, that it will help me re-connect with my God, my Lord, and my Savior.
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