Monday, May 18, 2009

Rain, rain go away...maybe

This has been, without a doubt one of the wettest springs I can remember. We finished 2008 in a severe drought, but thanks to the rains this spring we have successfully exited drought status.

Rain, and our reaction to it are funny things. We know that every living thing needs it...can't live without it. And when it's August - and 98 degrees outside, the grass has turned brown, and you wilt as soon as you walk out of the air conditioning - we beg and plead for rain. Yet, when the rain disrupts our picnic, beach plans, or ballgame - we have nothing nice to say about the rain - it's a nuisance.

I admit I straddle the fence in my attitude on rain. I do see the beauty and necessity in having the rain water the land and animals. I know that we need the rain to replenish the water table. I love the rainbow after the rain, and don't even get me started on the joys of napping on a rainy Sunday afternoon. But I have also been the one to complain when a picnic had to be moved inside, or a ballgame was rescheduled for the 3rd time due to rain. I said some pretty nasty things about the rainstorm that soaked me to the skin as I was trying to load and unload my groceries the other day, too.

But is our love hate relationship with rain more than that? Two weeks ago, just as youth was ending, the sky ripped open and this deluge of rain came down. The Beacons (the name of our youth group) could have stood on the porch of the youth house and waited and complained. Instead they embraced the joy that comes from an unexpected gift. They rushed out into the rain and began to dance! Not just playing - but dancing! This rain was not an inconvenience or a bother, but a gift and a blessing! Something to be celebrated, not because of the benefits it brings, but just for the sheer joy of the it all!

As I sat and thought about all of this yesterday it was...you guessed it...raining. I sat there at my desk looking out the window at the rain, and I felt a tear slip down my face. I was crying because I felt alone and adrift. There was nothing to celebrate, nothing to be joyful about...it was a grey, rainy, sad day. Now, I'm not one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason, but I do believe that God chooses to reveal his love and compassion in a multitude of ways. As I sat there crying, all alone in my office, with nothing but my lap-top and my i-tunes, God sent me a gift. I-tunes was shuffling through my music library when it chose to stop on a song by Third Day - When the Rain Comes.

Like the Beacons, I found my "joy" in the rain, and found myself dancing in my office. Life is not always sunshine...there will be rain...but we are surrounded by friends and family to get us through the rainy, gloomy times. And most importantly we are loved by a God who sends the rain to nourish us, but also to hold us until it goes away!
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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Looking for God

I am in the process of leading a Sunday School class of my peers. This class is a group of professional 30-50-somethings. They are an amazing group of Christians, but they also tend to be difficult to plan for, because they want to be challenged in all they do. They don't want to be lectured too, they want to discuss and debate. So when a friend gave me a curriculum called "Looking for God" - seeing God in art old and new and the in the world around us. I knew it was for them. What I didn't know was that it would show God to me in a way I hadn't thought about before.

The first session deals exclusively with looking for God in the human face. Do we make idols out of the human face? Do we attempt to craft God in our own image? Which faces reflect the image of God? It is so easy to "see" God in the faces of the young and beautiful. It is so easy to say that the models we see on the covers of magazines are children of God, but what about those of us who will never grace the cover of Elle or Vogue? Are we any less the children of God?


Our society places an inordinate value on looks. We are constantly told to "judge a book by its cover." Why? Why is a persons value determined by the way they look, or dress; by where they live or the car they drive.

As children we don't see the color of a persons skin we see a playmate. We don't notice the designer label (or lack thereof) we see a friend. We don't calculate the value of a house, but the value of the people living inside. When do we change? When do we start to notice these things, and make our choices accordingly? And we all do it...don't say you don't.

Is it unrealistic to hope and pray for a world where we are all loved for our inner value as a child of God? Is it unrealistic to hope and pray for a world where we would find a way to finally value the heart, mind and soul of each and everyone of us? Is it unrealistic to hope and pray for a world where we can look beyond the outer shell, and look inward and see the spark of the divine?

Unrealistic or not this is the world I continue to hope and pray for. Join me?


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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How Long?

I participate in a bi-monthly Bible study. We meet at a local coffee shop, and discuss a passage of scripture that the pastor will preach on in the coming weeks. Today's passage for discussion deals with grief, loss and asking God those hard questions.

Psalm 13

For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

I know how the Pslamist feels! I have been "away" from God for so long. I feel I may never find my way back again. While I know that it's me that has lost touch, part of me, can't help but feel like God has forgotten me.

It also doesn't help that I am constantly wrestling with a multitude of thoughts and ideas that constantly invade my mind, heart and soul. Some of them I can push aside and deal with another day. Some have become my constant companion these days...and the thing is I don't know that I want to give them up. Other thoughts have been with me for years, and are as much a part of me as my hair or my eyes.


Yet there it is in verse 6 - I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me. God isn't afraid of the hard questions like "How Long?", "When?", "Who?", "Why????". What we need to learn from the Psalmist is to ASK the question!! And even when we ask the hard questions, his love remains constant. He doesn't get his feeling hurt, and walk away. God hasn't hidden his face from us, we've just forgotten where to look.

Instead of keeping those thoughts, and questions to ourselves we need to open them up to God and have an honest dialogue. I'll try to ask the tough questions...at least then I'd be talking to God again.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A Spiritual Discipline

As part of my graduate school classes this term, we have to try a new spiritual practice for four weeks. I have read, read, wondered and pondered, about what I should do for my discipline.

Do I: read, pray, journal, try making a Rule for Life, draw, watch "spiritual movies, blog, listen to music, meditate? The list can go on and on. But in reality choosing a spiritual discipline is really not the issue for me. The real issue for me is having a spiritual discipline at all!

You see for quite a while now I have had NO spiritual discipline. It seems that one of the drawbacks of working in a church is getting caught up in the busy-ness of the call. It is so easy to get absorbed in the details of the life of the church that you forget to spend time with the God you have been called to serve. This is the situation I have found myself in lately. I only spend time with God in prayer when I am called to pray as part of my job. I only read scripture now as preparation for studies I am going to lead. I find that as work to help others grow closer to Christ, I find I move farther away.

Now let me say this...MY FAITH IN GOD HAS NOT CHANGED! I still KNOW that Christ is my Savior, that my life is infinitely better with God, and I know that God never leaves my side or turns his back on me.

What has changed is the way I relate to God. And oh, how I miss spending time with me God. I miss it like I miss my family when I am away. I miss it like I miss the way my mom used to be before she became ill. I miss it like I miss the way Mark used to smile. A part of my heart and life is missing. A part of my very essence is not here right now.

So I have decided that I am going to blog as my new spiritual discipline. But I am not going to just blog...I'm going to blog about lots of different disciplines: Art, music, TV, Movies, Meditation...and of course prayer and scripture reading.

We'll see how this goes. I hope that even thought this is a class assignment, that it will help me re-connect with my God, my Lord, and my Savior.
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